It felt like the earth had stopped turning, like I couldn't breathe. . . like I didn't want to breathe.
The world felt totally foreign to me now and I felt homesick no matter where I went. My home, my parents home, my sister's homes, nowhere felt right anymore. The only reasons I kept going were so that my family wouldn't have to deal with yet more pain, and because I knew I was supposed to keep going. I would feel gentle nudges of support from somewhere within. . . a soothing presence that was always with me, cradling me as I grieved. The pain and sadness were no less intense but I had a knowing, that I was not alone.
      The homesickness I felt, I now realize, was a part of my soul, remembering that there is another place besides the physical dimension. My soul knew it wanted to be "home" with my father. Upon learning of the multidimensional nature of spirit, that we are both in the spirit realm and in the physical world at the same time, I was at once comforted and excited. To learn that the rest of "me", my higher self, was already with my father, and that my feeling of homesickness was the start of an awakening to an understanding of where it is, that my spirit really lives, was like a soothing balm for my broken heart.
I have had to reprogram my mind, to accept the fact that my loved ones who have crossed over are all around me, just a thought away...  We do not have to wait until we cross over to be with them again. In our society, death is treated as a terrible fact of life instead of the beautiful transition that it is.
We cry not because we think our loved ones are gone for good, we know in our hearts that is not true, but because we no longer are able to physically see and hear them anymore. They now communicate in a language that is like a whisper in a windstorm. The whispers are their thoughts, their loving presence, and their manipulations of our world... their tangible messages of love. If we want to hear them, to feel them, to notice the "hellos" they are sending us, we have to learn to come in out of the storm. Being mindful, and living in the moment, turns up the volume from the spirit world. In taking time to be fully aware of each moment, which takes a lot of getting used to, we not only benefit from receiving their feelings and messages of love, but we also connect with our own higher selves. We lose our fear when we step outside of the storm. When we have a peaceful heart and no fear, we can remember what is important again.
We can start to recall why it is that we are here, and what we need to be doing to further our spiritual
growth. Spiritual growth does not mean praising God more, converting everyone we meet, and shunning those who do not comply.  God does not want our praise, God does not have an ego. God doesn't even tell us what to do. He gave us free will. Spiritual growth means finding the lessons in the challenges of life. Remembering, while we are still here, why we came here. To learn to love, unconditionally.
To quiet the ego and let the soul be in control.